1.1.1 The Landscape

‘Do not embark on a quest for enlightenment… unless you have the same amount of desire as a drowning man has to breathe air.’

In this opening chapter, we explore the fundamental terrain of spiritual alchemy — the inner landscape where transformation occurs. Here we examine the nature of Subjective Reality, the requirements for inner work, and the relationship between suffering and spiritual awakening. This chapter lays the groundwork for understanding how our perceived reality shapes our experience and introduces the alchemical approach to transformation.

The Landscape, from here, is pretty bleak. I won’t lie to you, this isn’t for everybody. But yet here you are. So let us start…

Alchemy is a process of inner transformation, kind of the science of sainthood, but not quite. Unfortunately, this will have to do for the moment, but it will suffer redefinition as we progress through necessary types of understanding.

The power of the Alchemist outlined in this course is personal. If you are interested in bettering yourself, whatever that means, this is for you. This power is always subtle and tends to liberate one from things that used to cause suffering. Through an understanding of our true nature, the alchemist loses fear of death, and through this, most other fears.

The path of the Alchemist is not unique. Rather, it is a system that points towards a way of unravelling the complexities of being that plague a normal person. This way is a function of the system, a kind of back door, that those who find can access and free themselves from their mental prison of being.

The alchemists, along with Buddhists, Gnostics, Sufis and all other types of mystics learn to hack into the very system that creates being, and uncouple the natural but painful attachment to it.

In contemporary film, this is explored almost explicitly in The Matrix series. I highly recommend watching these as they present a reasonable metaphor on the nature of becoming a prisoner in one’s own mind.

Rather than reinventing the wheel, I will introduce terms from the mystery religions such as Kabbalah, Buddhism and Gnostic Christianity as interested readers will then find deeper research easier.

There needs to be a bit (or a lot) of suffering to make you into an Alchemist. You can still progress so far, but there reaches a point where you have to let go of everything that defines you. Unless you are willing to risk everything, you simply can’t get the leap of faith to achieve what is known as I will know the unknown.

However, there is no rush. And even if you find yourself stuck on a stage, read on, but just be aware it might get more difficult to understand.

The work is inner and generally can be done along with most modern lifestyles. Here, what I am saying is you don’t need to be a solitary monk. It is, however, also a spiritual path and progression will result in a certain disinterest in more mundane concerns. The darker — i.e. more difficult parts of the path don’t have to be terrible, although if we experience them naturally they often are. But by all means, don’t go out of your way to make things harder for yourself.

The only real quality you need is curiosity and a willingness to expand your capacity of belief.

What do I mean by ‘reality?’

Reality is subjective. What does this mean?

Reality is how you experience your existence. It is experienced only by you, with your distinct take on it, based on your conditioning. We all have our own subjective realities that, through primarily the use of language or numbers, we build into a kind of mutually-agreed objective reality.

Most of science works very hard to exclude differences between our subjective realities which we call subjective bias. Science generally strives to observe an objective reality and uses standards of measurement to base its objectivity.

Yet, this objective and seemingly real reality is one of convention. It is simply a consensus on agreement. And if individuals have a very unconventional or problematic experience it is based on this consensual normality that their abnormality is judged.

So, each of us has a personal experience that, to a degree, matches others when we communicate through the symbols of words and number. Yet what blue means to you and what it means to me are both unexplainable and generally unconscious.

We come into our awareness of ourselves without ever really knowing how or what has happened. We are a process that thinks it is a thing. This confuses us, and generally, we are unlikely to work out what has happened, as we become obsessed with a thing, that’s really a process.

Our true Subjective Reality is chaotic and ever-shifting, but our constructed reality of things and beings is stable and makes sense. We fear the dissolution when we see process and not thing, so habitually always thing and people our experience. This is a habit that takes us not just through this life of becoming, but subsequent lives of becoming, an inexhaustible drive that takes us through countless numbers of existences.

This thing is once we become we fear unbecoming without ever realising both are illusions.

Throughout our existence we form memories of experiences but some of these memories haunt us. It’s easy to blame psychological trauma on bad memories, yet even good memories will eventually become problematic. We can become just as miserable grasping at a once-pleasant but now distant past as easily as we can suffer from a traumatic one.

The Alchemist progresses through distinct stages which represent a change in their fundamental mechanism of being. Although there is a definite risk of what would be perceived as mental illness, I think it is more likely that those already suffering from generally a degree of depressive illness are already attracted toward alchemy, once they understand what it is about.

On the whole, the transmutations (changes in the substance) are beneficial and only troublesome if unrecognised. They are, however, one-way — once you break through and know a deeper truth you can never un-know it.

At any certain stage, curiosity will mix with faith and find wisdom. This manifests as a confidence in one’s progress and understanding and the ignition of an inner type of fire. This fire creates an internal obsession with finding the truth and manifests as a restless obsession in completing the process. Again, this is not incompatible with many lifestyles but might represent a changing of priorities.

Take your time, learn to ponder and use whatever resources you have available to deepen your understanding. These processes take time and developing patience is a natural side-effect of learning. There will always be plenty to satisfy your curiosity.

“You must be ready to burn yourself in your own flame;
how could you rise anew if you have not first become ashes!”

This text is excerpted from the book Nigredo: A Course in Modern Alchemy. The complete book includes additional study guides, resources, and appendices. View the full book here.