1.1.3 Evolution of Adulthood

“In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play.”

In this chapter, we explore the fundamental transition from childlike to adult consciousness, examining how language and perceptual frameworks create a filter between pure sensory experience and conceptual understanding. We’ll investigate how the development of language and meaning changes our experience of reality, and why understanding this process is crucial for the aspiring alchemist. The journey from child to adult consciousness represents a key alchemical transformation that must be understood to begin the Great Work.

We all arrive at adulthood in a variety of different states. Still, there is a consensus that adults are not children, but when we try to examine what exactly are the differences between adult and child, it gets tricky once we go beyond the obvious physical.

Hormones certainly play a role, but they are not a primary concern for us as alchemists. We will cover gender later on, but our interest lies deeper — we are interested in being not what sort of body this being is associated with. I can find no reason beyond obvious misogyny to exclude the female aspiring alchemist, and in truth, the only barrier is that in accessing education that I think explains a relative lack of reported female alchemists.

Here, we are interested in the changes to state of being that arises from transforming a childish awareness to that of an adult. This is complicated as I have to introduce terms and ideas that might be entirely new, but take your time and try to familiarise yourself with each stage by reflecting on your own experience. The early stages will be very abstract at the moment, which is okay, and something you are going to have to get very used to!

Our state of being is shaped by awareness—not just of the sensory world, but of the meaning we assign to things. This awareness of what things mean is called perception. Perception is a kind of awareness that clings to basic awareness and tells us what things are. We look at a cup — but only see shape and colour. Our mind then tells us, often by referring to the word cup, either visually or as an inner voice, what this shape and colour means. This happens almost instantly, so while we do see the shape and colour, our minds immediately attach meaning, and all we consciously perceive is a cup.

Perceptions shape our experience. If we have suffered abuse or psychological trauma we might develop phobic reactions, where we have a panic attack at the mere thought or sight of a sensitive object.

The pre-verbal child lacks words which are a perception. They cannot understand language and experience a world without these perceptions acting as a filter. You ask a pre-verbal child to pass you the cup, and it is meaningless. So, when you look and see a cup, and when a pre-verbal child does, we are not experiencing the same thing.

For adults to experience the child’s reality, they either must be a dedicated meditator or take, particularly LSD. LSD seems to inhibit this perceptual overlay and the world becomes brighter, indistinct and distracting.

So, the difference between an adult and pre-verbal childish awareness is that the child experiences only what they sense. They can get caught up with their environment and are fascinated and play with it. The Adult can no longer experience this pure sensory awareness as they have learned to automatically categorise it into things and beings. These are a subtle form of awareness that attaches itself to what we sense and gives it meaning. As an adult, we are primarily interested in what things mean and so our reality moves from a blissful and connected, purely sensory one into a reality where we just observe our own perceptions.

If our interpretations are unpleasant, we become prisoners of our own perceptions, trapped within a mental cell. This is the Matrix. A layer of subtle awareness that manifests as we learn and cuts us off from the life-giving pure sensory experience. This is why the intellectual tends to suffer alienation and feelings of disconnection. Unless they find ways of switching off they remain like a prisoner in their own thoughts.

Are You Still with Me?

The main difference between the adult and pre-verbal child is how they experience the senses. In the child their experience is unfettered. They gain a kind of vitality from just being, yet, once they learn the words to describe this experience, they then tend to lose access to it.

The Alchemist learns to ponder this problem. They recognise that one cannot understand reality this way. As understanding in truth is illusory, and tends to just create a poor imitation of the original, that somehow blocks one from fully experiencing it.

The Bible contains deep alchemical symbolism, which we will explore in depth later. In the first book we learn about the Garden of Eden. This is our pre-verbal state of being, something we all once experienced however transiently. In this Garden are two Trees, these Trees are analogies for consciousness.

We are warned not to eat from the Tree of Knowledge as this will cause suffering and death. Yet, we all learned to speak and name the objects in our world. This creates the perceptions that now coats sensory experience and cut us off from the naturally life-giving properties. We will examine these Trees in much more detail later.

I hope this explanation was clear. To summarise, the difference between adult awareness and the innocent state of awareness we call the Garden of Eden is the presence of a layer of perception that coats our pure sensory experience. This pure sensory experience is blissful and energising yet as adults, particularly those who like to learn, one can become increasingly cut off or alienated through perceptions blocking this experience.

So as aspiring alchemists we must find a way of stopping this layer of perception forming and interrupting pure sense experience.

This text is excerpted from the book Nigredo: A Course in Modern Alchemy. The complete book includes additional study guides, resources, and appendices. View the full book here.